Once In A Lifetime
by Emom
Summary: They say cats have nine lives, but Johnny and Roy only have one life to contemplate their deep friendship. When a crisis strikes, can promises be kept?


ONCE IN A LIFETIME

_These good fellows don't belong to me, but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

Time brings an end to everything. We should not mistake for a tragedy what is no more than the passage of time. ~Robert Brault

_A/N: This one-shot has been burning in my brain for a while now. I'm sparing you my cliffies. This is a single flow story, not open to interruptions. You may not like where it goes, but if you start, I encourage you to finish. Then, let me know what you think._

* * *

"Who's new car is in the lot?" Chet asked, coming into the locker room.

Johnny looked around. "Someone has a new car?"

"Jo's," Roy muttered as he tied his shoes.

"Oh." He glanced over to his partner and immediately saw the bruise on his forehead.

"What happened to you?"

Roy looked over to his work partner and good friend with a sigh. "Long weekend."

Johnny chuckled. "I told you I'd help with Chris's treehouse." Reaching over, he lifted Roy's arm to see the bruising peeking out of the bandage. His forehead wrinkled. "You okay?"

"Fine." He was more frustrated than anything. "I got it done."

His eyes widened. "Already?"

"He wanted it done before his birthday party on Saturday."

Johnny clapped him on the shoulder. "You're a good dad."

"I'm something, that's for sure."

Mike looked over. "Car problems?"

"Mine's in the shop."

"Come on, guys, Cap's in a mood today," Chet mumbled as he hurried through the locker room, heading to the bay.

Captain Stanley read down the roll call, looking up at each man as duties were assigned. When he glanced at Roy, he frowned. Great. Once everyone was dismissed, he called to his senior medic.

"Roy?"

"Yea, Cap?" He paused in the bay as everyone else left, except Johnny, who walked very slowly to the kitchen door.

"My office."

"How are you feeling?" His Captain and friend asked him as they both took seats.

"Sore, but okay." Roy tried to relax and look, well, competent to work.

"Doc released you for work?"

Reaching into his shirt pocket, he pulled out the medical release and passed it over.

"If you need today off, you need to tell me, Roy."

"No, I'm fine, and the more I move around, the more it helps."

"Okay, that's all I needed to hear. What's for dinner?"

Roy smiled. "Chicken Parmesan."

Hank liked that. "Sounds delicious."

"Hank, thank you for last night."

"Well it's not a phone call I hope to ever get again from you, but I'm glad you're alright. However, I think it's in your best interest to tell Gage about it, too."

Roy nodded. "I know, and I will."

STATON 51, GARAGE FIRE. 4571 WEST AMBER STREET, CROSS STREET MARKET. TIME OUT 0811.

The other men flooded into the bay and loaded into the trucks. Hank wrote down the address and passed a slip over to Roy in the driver's seat.

Pulling out in the lead, Roy headed into the morning traffic rush with lights on and sirens running. The engine was close behind them as they headed to the newer subdivision of West Hills. Johnny was pointing as soon as they came around the corner, seeing the visible flames from the house garage, including the crowd already gathered on the lawn.

The frantic woman met them at the squad, her arms flailing in pure panic. "Please help us," she cried out.

"Is everyone out of the house?" Roy asked her while Johnny started pulling boxes out of the squad.

Behind them, Hank was already on the radio calling a second alarm and directing his crew to get some hose on the house as quickly as possible.

"My husband! He was doing some woodwork, and I can't find him."

Roy turned around. "Cap! We have a possible victim in the garage!"

Hank nodded and waved them forward. Quickly slipping on their tanks and masks, they moved up behind Marco and Chet.

Johnny waved ahead of them. "Husband may still be inside."

Chet nodded and moved to the side. The roof was fully involved now, and the medics knew they had little time before it would come down on them, and whoever was trapped inside. Roy took the lead, moving into the far-left side where Chet had been focusing his water. Inside, there were two cars, which dramatically increased the danger the men were in, knowing a gasoline explosion could happen at any time, with the hot flames licking at the tanks. The walls were burning with an intensity that they could feel through their protective gear, forcing the sweat to run down their backs and faces.

Both men were crouched down, moving along the cars and steering clear of the sides. Roy saw the man first, at least his foot sticking out from around the side of the tire. He pointed to him, and Johnny nodded. The husband was lying on his side, unconscious, and Roy knew they didn't even have time to check for a pulse.

When the roof of the garage started coming down, Roy threw himself on top of the victim while Johnny rolled to tuck himself under the front end of the parked truck. Lumber came down on the men, making Roy grunt with the impact, and Johnny started kicking the burning chunks of wood off his partner and the victim.

Standing up, he brushed the fire off Roy's back and grabbed his arm. "ROY?!"

Roy nodded. "I'm okay," he waved.

Johnny helped him find his feet, then reached down and pulled the victim up onto his shoulder. "Let's get out of here!"

His partner fully agreed. Taking the lead again, he felt Johnny's hand on his shoulder as they began to work their way out. They only took about three steps when Roy looked up to the roof, which was now sagging closer and closer to them. As soon as they reached the garage door, Marco and the crew of 86 met them and helped to drag them out. Within seconds, the roof collapsed and engulfed the garage completely. The second crew was now busy trying to save the house.

Johnny laid the husband down on the grass, clear of the house, and his wife was immediately at his side. They quickly shed their excess equipment and began a rapid assessment on the unmoving man.

"Pulse is 120," Roy told him.

Johnny nodded as he wrote it down and opened up the biophone. Almost immediately, Mike had the oxygen tanks at their side.

"Respirations 10, labored."

"Rampart, this is Squad 51, do you read?"

Go ahead 51.

"Rampart, we have a male patient, 40 years old, the victim of a house fire. He is unconscious and unresponsive. Heart rate is 120, respirations are 10 and labored. There are third-degree burns to both hands and to the chest."

_51, place esophageal airway now. Burn protocol to hands and chest with sterile dressings. Begin two IV's, LR at 100, and give a normal saline bolus now. _

"Esophageal airway, sterile dressings, two IV sites, LR at 100 and a bolus now. 10-4, 51."

_51, ETA?_

"Ten minutes, Rampart. Ambulance on scene."

Johnny watched Roy like a hawk as they stabilized their patient and loaded him up in the ambulance. "I'll bring in the squad."

Roy was a little surprised. "Okay. See you there."

Johnny shoved the last box into the squad as the ambulance pulled away.

"What happened in there?"

He turned to Hank's voice. "Part of the roof came down on him."

Hank shot a look towards the ambulance as it disappeared around the corner. "He okay?"

"I think so, but I'll get the doc to check him out."

"He doesn't come back to work without a release," Hank said emphatically, catching Johnny off guard.

"Sure thing, Cap."

"Man, he's not having a good weekend, is he?"

It was Meyers from the other station, walking past him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, first he totaled his car last night, then this. Tell him I'll send him my lucky rabbit's foot." The man chuckled.

"He did what?" Johnny was shocked.

The man nodded. "Yea, last shift got called out on it. Sounded pretty bad, but glad he was okay."

Johnny clamped his jaw down and hurried into the Squad.

* * *

Walking down the hall, he found Roy standing at the desk talking to Dixie.

"How's he doing?"

"He's got a rough road ahead of him, but he'll be okay," Dixie told him.

"And you?" Johnny asked Roy.

"Me? I'm fine."

Johnny could see the fire and ash marks to his turn out coat, and where it brushed up against flesh. Never mind his other worry. "What did the doc say?"

Meanwhile, Dixie was now watching Roy like a hawk. "What happened?"

"I'm fine." His eyes narrowed at his persistently annoying partner.

"A burning ceiling fell on him." Johnny looked over to Dixie.

"Room two," she told him in a very authoritative voice.

He nodded. "Really, I'm fine."

"Cap says, don't come back to the station without a release." Johnny leaned back on the counter and cocked his head a bit. Captain or not, there was no way his best friend was leaving this ER without getting checked out.

Roy let out a sigh of resignation, picked up his HT, and headed to room two. He almost ran right into Kelly Brackett.

"Where's he going?" Kel asked Johnny.

"Looking for you."

Kel was confused. "What?"

"Room two, roof came down on him at that house fire," Dixie told him.

"Oh," he turned and headed to the room. "What happened?" He asked Johnny as they walked.

"That house fire, garage came down on us. Roy took a good hit from it."

Pushing the door open, he found Roy sitting on the stretcher. "Roy."

"Doc."

Johnny wasn't playing around anymore and stood beside his best friend. His worry was growing rapidly, seeing the concern etched in Brackett's expression. Dixie reached over and helped him pull off his coat, making it difficult for him to hide his grimace. Kel listened to his heart and lungs, then moved around the table to examine his back.

"Shirt," Dixie prompted him.

"I didn't get burned," Roy said, looking over to Johnny.

"You're in my ER twice in twenty-four hours, Roy. Shirt off."

When he pulled the blue shirt off, Johnny's eyes got wide at the bruising to his back and side.

"Pain?" Kel asked as he felt around on the tender skin.

Roy shook his head. "Sore, but no pain."

"I told you to come back if you had any worsening in pain. More trauma is not what your body needs right now." He scribbled some notes on his clipboard. "Dix, let's get a chest x-ray."

"Be right back, Roy," Dixie told him.

Alone in the room with Johnny, he could feel his eyes burning into him.

"I'm…"

"Don't tell me you're okay again. You totaled your car last night? What in the hell happened?"

"Some car ran a red light and t-boned me. I'm fine, but really messed up my car."

"Why didn't you call me?"

Roy had to smile. Dealing with Johnny was almost worse than dealing with Joanne. Almost.

"It was really late by the time they let us go, and you were out on your date."

"Us?!"

"Jo and I were coming home from the movies when it happened."

Johnny's mouth dropped open. "She was in the car too? Is she okay? Is she home?"

"Yea, she's okay, just really shaken up. It took me half the night to get her to relax enough to get some sleep, but she's okay." He could see how concerned his friend was. "Johnny, I did try to call you, but you weren't home yet, so Hank came and picked us up. I was going to fill you in today."

"It's okay, I mean, I understand. I just can't believe it happened."

He raised his brow. "Me either. It's one thing to respond to a call but much different from being on the other side of it."

"I bet."

"Trust me, backboards are not comfortable."

Johnny tried to laugh, but came up short. It wasn't funny.

Dixie came in with a wheelchair. "Your chariot awaits."

Roy just eyed it. "I can walk."

She raised her brow. "Not in my ER, you won't. Now, sit down."

Johnny waited in the room until Roy returned, and soon Kel came in with the x-ray in his hand. Popping it up on the screen, he looked at it closely.

"What do you think, doc?"

He walked back over to Roy, who was getting dressed again. "Looks okay. You're pretty beaten up, but I don't see anything that would keep you from work."

"That's what I said," he sent a glare to Johnny, who just shrugged at him.

"Better safe than sorry."

"Thanks, doc."

"Come back anytime, as a medic, not a patient."

Roy nodded, knowing that wasn't a promise he could make. Not in his line of business.

Roy climbed into the squad. "Happy now?"

Johnny looked at him. Roy sure was being defensive. "That you're okay? Yea, I am."

He visibly deflated. "Sorry, it's just been a rough week."

"Anything else going on? Still having problems with Chris?"

He pulled out of the hospital parking lot. "Jo says he's testing his boundaries. But it just seems like an argument every day with him these days."

"Oh."

"And Jennifer informed me this morning that she wants Joanne to come to her school career day, instead of me."

Johnny smiled a bit. "Are you worried she doesn't want to be a fireman, err person one day?"

"She can be anything she wants. She just doesn't seem to need me anymore."

He shifted to face him. "Roy, she's six. You're a great dad. You know that, right?"

"Yea. I guess."

"Those kids would be lost without you, even if they don't realize it sometimes. Hey, pull in over there for lunch. I'm starving."

Roy looked at him. "It's nine-thirty."

"They serve breakfast too."

Shaking his head, he pulled into the fast-food burger joint. Climbing out, they ordered and sat at a picnic table outside by the Squad.

"Thanks for having my back in there."

Johnny smiled. "That's what partners do." Did Roy even understand what he would do to make sure he came back home to his wife and kids?

SQUAD 51, MAN DOWN, 201 EAST AUBURN DRIVE, CROSS STREET EMORY, TIME OUT 9:42

They both shrugged at the uneaten food sitting in front of them. Tossing it in the trash, they headed out to the next call. The call took them to a small bakery in the middle of a strip mall. Grabbing the basic boxes, they headed inside to find a man on the ground. Sitting at the small round table were two little girls, maybe four and six. Roy just glanced at them, not able to handle the tears in their eyes as the waitress pulled them closer to her.

"He just fell over," she told them. "I mean, he was eating ice cream one minute, then there the next."

Roy reached for a pulse; his eyes looked over to his partner. "No pulse."

As Roy started the chest compressions, Johnny ran out to the Squad and grabbed the cardiac equipment. After three rounds of medications, and never getting a heartbeat back, Rampart ordered them to the ER immediately. Roy climbed into the ambulance with the man and continued compressions though he knew the man was already gone. As the doors closed, the last thing he saw was the two, little heart-broken girls crying in the arms of a stranger.

"There was nothing you could have done different, Roy," Kelly told him.

It wasn't reassuring even when he knew they had run a very efficient code in the field. "Thanks, doc."

Riding back to the station was quiet, and Johnny could feel the unease radiant off his friend. "Doc was right, Roy."

"He left those little girls behind."

"They have their mother to help them through this."

Roy went silent again.

When they pulled into the station, Roy just sat in the truck for a minute, and Johnny just waited with him.

"Last night, it really scared Jo. She questioned what would happen to the kids if something happened to us. I didn't know how to answer her."

"We never know what's going to happen to us, but I have a feeling you and Joanne are going to be around for a very long time. Still, if anything did happen, they have two sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and an entire stationhouse that would never let them go without, ever. And they will always have me."

He brought up a smile. They weren't words to just placate him, and Roy knew it. "Thank you."

Roy climbed out of the Squad first, and Johnny watched him wince with discomfort and soreness. He suddenly realized he didn't even like the thought of something happening to the man who was a brother to him. Any idea of fatherhood terrified him, obviously not being ready for that anytime soon. Of course, he would be there for the DeSoto's if he needed too, but, he wasn't a father, and he wouldn't have any idea on how to do it.

When dinner time rolled around, Roy had been in the kitchen for an hour preparing.

"Smells good, Roy," Marco told him. "Need any help?"

"Yea, can you get out the salad stuff?"

The lineman nodded and began pulling out supplies from the fridge. Soon, everyone was gathered around the table and enjoying their meal.

"Did I tell you my neighbor won a trip to London?" Marco asked them.

Johnny shook his head. "Some people have all the luck."

"I'd rather go to Italy," Chet said, nodding his head. "Or, Australia," he grinned.

"Australia has bugs bigger than you, Chet," Mike told him with a chuckle.

Chet frowned. "They do not." He kept staring at Mike as if that would change the man's mind. "Well, I'd still go to Italy."

"You send me to Italy, and I might not come back home," Johnny said, shaking his fork at them.

"You'd come back home," Chet chided to him. "You'd get all homesick."

"Homesick? Really, Chet? I could easily travel and not come back." Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Roy's smile drop.

"I'd come back because this is where home is." He tried to lighten the mood. "Besides, someone has to keep you from playing in traffic."

"Ha, funny," Chet said with a forced laugh.

After dinner, they pulled up chairs in front of the TV to watch a movie. Johnny watched Roy get up and go to the kitchen to pour a glass of milk, then returned his attention to the scary movie of the week. After a few minutes, he realized Roy hadn't returned to the group. Without drawing attention to himself, he wandered off to find his friend.

He found him outside, sitting in a chair, just outside the back door.

"Nice night," Johnny said, as he pulled up a chair to sit beside him. "You feeling okay?" There was that underlying worry that his injuries were starting to get to him.

"Yea."

He knew that his friend had a lot on his mind and would talk about it when he was ready. Leaning back against the building, he looked up at the few stars that were visible despite the city lights. For the next half hour, they just sat in silence.

Roy finally stood up and stretched with a low groan. Looking down at his partner, he shared a small smile and nod. "Thanks. Let's get some sleep while we can."

* * *

"Johnny! Come in." She greeted him with a warm hug. "It's good to see you. You've been too much of a stranger around here."

"Just been busy with work and I've been working on my place on my days off. I wanted to come by and check on you guys." He followed her inside. "Roy told me about what happened."

She turned around and smiled at him. "We're okay, thank goodness."

He could see the large dressing on her shoulder. "You got hurt?"

"Some stitches from where the window shattered."

It broke his heart to see the people he cared about hurt. They could have died, and that was a painful thought.

She smiled. "Johnny, hey, look at me." Joanne took him by the arm and pulled her closer. "I'm okay, we're okay."

He just nodded.

"I admit it really scared me, but it was just an accident."

"I just can't imagine anything happening to you guys, you're my family."

She kissed his cheek. "And you're ours. Come on, Roy's on the back porch."

Roy actually looked better this afternoon, which was reassuring to Johnny.

"Jo, honey, can you grab the salt for me?"

Nodding, she returned to the kitchen.

"Smells good, need any help?"

"No, just relax."

Johnny plopped down in a lounge chair and crossed his legs. Roy watched him and just chuckled. It hadn't taken Johnny long to consider this his second home.

"So, Italy, huh?"

He grimaced, knowing that was going to come back and bite him in the butt sooner or later. Laughing, he shrugged. "When am I ever going to afford to go to Italy? Nope, this is where I'll reside until I die." Taking his beer, he tipped a toast towards Roy. "I mean, who would want to leave this?"

It was a gorgeous day outside, not too hot, a nice breeze coming in off the coast and crystal clear blue skies. Roy looked up and nodded.

"I mean if you could go anywhere, exotic, where would you go? You know, if you had all the time in the world and could take the kids anywhere?"

"Unlimited time and money? Jo's always wanted to see the Effiel Tower." He nodded. "I'd take her to Paris."

Johnny raised his brow. "Ohh, Paris, nice choice. I'd visit China."

China? Now that surprised Roy. "Really?"

"Yea, I think it would be cool to see the Great Wall of China."

"I agree, Johnny," Joanne said as she came back outside. "China, Japan, Italy, Paris. We just need to inherit from some long lost Uncle," she laughed. "Until then, I'm very happy right where I am." Leaning in, she gave him a kiss on the cheek, then she looked at Johnny. "Just no more ranch vacations."

Even though she winked at him, he crouched down lower into the chair. She started laughing, then patted him on the shoulder before going back inside.

"Just don't go to China and abandon me to Brice."

Johnny laughed. "Still worried I'd leave and not come back? Why Roy, I didn't know you cared."

"Of course, I care." His answer was sharp, more so than he meant it to be. "I mean, I'd hate to have to break in a new partner."

Roy's heartfelt words touched him, and he knew that it was hard for his friend to express how close their friendship was, as close to brothers as possible without sharing a parent.

"Dad!"

Roy let out a sigh. "Yes?"

Chris came stomping up to him. "You _better_ tell Jenny to leave me alone when I'm playing with Mark. She's in the way!"

He calmly put the tongs down and turned to his son. Johnny knew the dad face immediately and tried to not smile at the lecture that was about to happen. He'd been on the other end of that face more than once after doing something completely stupid.

"First of all, don't tell me what I better do. You can either speak to me with respect or not at all. Secondly, stop yelling."

Chris let out a huff and clamped his jaw down. "Will you _please_ tell her to go play and leave us alone?"

"Better, thank you. Send her over here, and I'll talk to her." He turned to Johnny and rolled his eyes.

Johnny couldn't help but snicker. It just made him glad to not be a parent. Roy was good at it, but he was nowhere ready to face parenthood himself. Jennifer came running over, already sobbing with red eyes.

Roy crouched down and opened his arms up to his distraught youngest. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Chris… he yelled…then…he…pushed me…down…told…me…to…run…away…and…never…come…back."

Johnny's eyes got wide as Roy let out a sigh.

"CHRIS!" He called out to his son.

When Chris came back, he was also not in a pleasant mood. "What?"

"Excuse me?" Hands were now on his hips.

Chris instantly deflated. "I'm sorry, yes, Sir."

"Did you push your sister down?"

He was instantly back in drama mode. "Dad! She wouldn't leave us alone! I TOLD you that."

Roy stayed patient. "Did you tell her to run away and never come back?"

Chris clamped down and glared at his little sister.

Roy knelt down beside him. "Christopher, if anything ever happened to her, you would feel horrible for the rest of your life. Apologize, now."

Chris looked over to her. "Sorry," he said in an annoyed sassy voice.

"Christopher DeSoto."

"I'm sorry, Jenny."

She was still hugging Roy's leg, but she did nod, accepting his apology.

"Now you can go inside, to your room and sit there for the rest of the evening."

"WHAT?! I did what you said. THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"Go right now before I change my mind on punishment."

With a huff, Chris stomped inside and slammed the door.

Roy turned his attention to her. "Brothers can be difficult, sometimes. Pushing and saying mean things are not okay. Why don't you go inside and help mom, she's making brownies, I think."

Johnny sat forward. "And if she's not, tell her Uncle Johnny loves brownies and needs some." He winked at her.

Roy helped her wipe her tears away before she left them for the house.

Johnny shook his head. "Man, I don't know how you do this every day."

Roy just shrugged. "When you're a father, you don't have a lot of choice. You just do what needs to be done."

"I think I'll stay single forever."

He chuckled. "Good luck with that."

* * *

"I'm not sure if those bruises look better or worse," Johnny kidded Roy.

His bruises were a yellow-green color now. Roy shrugged. "They don't hurt as much at least."

Sitting at the table, Johnny opened up a box of donuts, taking one out. "I swear Chet, if you don't stop bringing these in, I'm going to have add another five miles to my runs."

Marco patted Chet's belly. "I don't think _you're_ the one that needs to run an extra five miles."

Chet was offended, pushing his hand away. "I'm in tip-top shape."

"Top of what is the question," Hank asked as he strolled into the kitchen.

"Finish breakfast, we need to talk about the new building over on eighth and Carter."

By the time dinner came, there had only been a couple of small calls for the Squad, leaving them sitting most of the day in the station.

"This has been the longest day ever," Johnny complained from the couch, where he and Henry were laying down.

"Why don't you help with dishes if you're that bored," Roy told him.

Reluctantly, Johnny got up, then shook his head at the dog. "I don't know if an earthquake would make him move. Why are we doing dishes before dinner?"

"Because it's Mike's day and he's been out all shift. Just dry."

"Yes, dad."

Roy smirked. When the buzzer on the oven went off, he turned the heat down to low and set out the dishes for dinner. Soon, a weary Engine crew came dragging into the dayroom.

"Eat then showers," Hank told them.

"What happened?" Johnny asked as he put the food on the table.

"Trash fire that spread to a woodshed, which set four trees on fire, that fell on the roof of a pool house." He shook his head. "It was one disaster after another. Thanks for dinner."

"Must be nice to sit around all day while everyone else works," Chet chided Johnny as he sat down at the table.

"I slaved over a hot stove for you, and look how appreciative you are."

Chet rolled his eyes. "You didn't even cook, Mike did!"

Johnny looked over to the weary engineer and shrugged. "Well, I finished it."

"I finished it, you read the paper," Roy added.

Marco and Mike laughed. Johnny just grinned and took another bite.

SQUAD 51, MAN DOWN. 714 FOREST GROVE DRIVE, CROSS STREET DRISCOLL. TIME OUT 1817.

The medics jumped, with Johnny shoving the last of his roll in his mouth and headed into the bay. Hank was right behind them, acknowledging the call and passing the paper to Roy.

Following directions, they weaved through the neighborhoods of Carson, until Johnny motioned ahead.

"White house, on the left."

Roy nodded and made a U-turn on the side street to pull up at the curb. With basic boxes in hand, they headed up the walk to the front porch. The house was small, in an old neighborhood that was long past its glory days and in great need of regular upkeep. Knocking on the door was met with silence and prompted Johnny to look in the front window.

"The TV's on."

Roy knocked harder. "FIRE DEPARTMENT."

Johnny looked back, not seeing any movement in the darkened house. Roy joined him and narrowed his brow. Something didn't feel right.

"Back door?" Johnny asked.

He agreed, and they moved around the side of the house, down the driveway and to a back door, finding it unlocked. Roy pushed it open cautiously.

"FIRE DEPARTMENT! ANYONE HOME?"

Still no answer. Both men entered the kitchen and found a pot of water boiling over. Roy reached over, turned the burner off, and set the pot in the sink.

"Somebody's here, somewhere. Fire department!" Johnny called out next as they entered the living room.

The TV was on, though the sound was completely down. They started moving down the hall of the small house, calling out their names and repeating where they were from. There were two bedrooms and a bath. The last bedroom door was closed, and Johnny knocked on it, without a response. Opening it up, they found an older gentleman, most likely in his eighties watching a small TV, that sat on the dresser. Johnny walked up to him, noting his eyes were closed and he appeared to be resting quietly, propped up with pillows. The telephone receiver was still in his hand where he had called for help.

"Sir, did you call the fire department?"

Not getting a response, he gently nudged the man's shoulder, "Sir."

When he slumped towards him, Johnny had to catch him. Roy was already moving to help him lower the falling man to the floor.

"Pulse is 68." Johnny placed his hand on his chest. "Respirations are shallow, twelve." Crinkling up his nose, he grimaced. "What is that smell?"

Looking at the bedside table, Roy saw a metal bowl full of mostly ashes, but some remnants of leaves and incense. Reaching over, he pinched some between his fingers and smelled them. "Herbs?"

"They're terrible."

Roy raised his brow and gave a little shake of his head. "Plenty of people use them for medicinal reasons. I agree, though, these don't smell the best. Maybe cheap stuff."

He proceeded to open up boxes and the biophone as Johnny got a blood pressure on the elderly man.

"He's pale, not diaphoretic, easy breaths." Johnny shook his head. "Pressure…" he paused to inflate the cuff. "80 over 50." Looking up, he shook his head a bit.

"Let's get him on the monitor," Roy suggested.

Johnny ran out the front door to get the cardiac equipment while Roy connected with Rampart.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51, do you read?"

_We read you 51, go ahead. _

Roy immediately recognized Dixie's voice.

"Rampart, we have an approximately eighty-year-old male, found unconscious and unresponsive in his home. Vitals are, pulse 68, respirations easy at 12, pressure is 80 over 50. Pupils are sluggish, but responsive. Skin is warm and dry, Rampart. There is a sluggish response to sternal rub."

Johnny showed up with the monitor and hooked up his leads for transmission.

"Rampart, transmitting EKG on lead two."

Roy shook his head. "Looks normal," he told Johnny.

The man was a puzzle.

Brackett was on the line next. _51, begin LR at fifty and start a second line in case he deteriorates in transport. What's your ETA?_

"Rampart, ETA eleven minutes."

_10-4._

"I'll start the lines," Roy told Johnny, passing him the IV supplies. Reaching up, he rubbed his temples, feeling the dreadful throb of a headache setting in. Nothing worse than a headache on the job. He'd have to remember to get some aspirin when he got back to the station.

Johnny pulled out the IV needle and wiped down the man's arm to insert it. Then somehow, he managed to lose his grip on it, dropping it to the floor. "Dang it," he muttered with frustration.

"Slow down, he's stable," Roy encouraged him.

For some reason that annoyed Johnny. "I know what I'm doing," he snapped at him. His stomach was churning now, nausea rising rapidly.

He didn't as much ignore the quip, as he just focused on the pounding in his head. Holding the bag up for gravity, he was trying to flush the fluids through the IV lines, letting gravity do its job. Looking up at the bag, he realized that not only was his headache getting worse, but the edges of the plastic were now blurry. For a moment, he worried he wouldn't be able to finish this run without getting sick.

"Johnny?"

Looking over, Roy watched Johnny trying to start the IV, moving in what appeared to be slow motion, the needle just above the skin.

Johnny blinked his eyes several times, trying to clear them, frustrated at how fuzzy he was feeling and his eyes felt like they were burning now.

"Johnny?" Roy asked again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I've got it, stop pestering me."

Roy cocked his head but found Johnny blurring with the action. "I think…" He closed his eyes to raging nausea. "I think, somethings wrong."

Slowly, Johnny looked up and nodded. "I think I'm going to be sick." He tried to stand up, only to fall back down to his knees.

Roy picked up the biophone, dropping it twice, fumbling trying to keep it in his hand that no longer wanted to close around the black phone. "We need help…"

* * *

Brackett rushed from one room to another, as the ER was packed full this evening with everything from unrelenting vomiting, to car accidents with traumatic injuries.

"Dixie, we need Cardiology in room two, and ortho in five."

She watched him disappear into another room as Joe Early came down the hall towards them.

"All I did was go get some dinner, what happened?"

"The bottom fell out," she told him. "Can you help Mike in one? It's a two-year-old that fell out of his bed and has a head injury."

He nodded and quickly disappeared, leaving her trying to direct float nurses in the right directions with instructions that didn't completely disorient them. She was grateful for the help that came down, but if they had never been in the department before, it was nothing but confusion most of the time. And it was never unless they were in dire need due to chaos.

She stuck her head in the room with Kel to make sure the nurse was getting him what he needed.

"Dixie, tell Joe to take 51's patient when they arrive, I'm going to be stuck here for a while."

He was cleaning out a nasty leg laceration, which would then need stitches.

"Sure, Kel."

Once she stepped out of the room, Anita from the waiting room reception desk was calling out for her. Trying to not roll her eyes, she headed towards her, and the surprisingly packed waiting area.

"What is it, Anita?"

"Mindy was doing assessments on the new arrivals, but she got called back to peds. Dix, they're coming in faster than I can check vitals on them."

It was a new program that they had implemented, assessing all patient's vitals on arrival to help the staff determine acuity, how sick they were, and how soon they needed to be seen. This was when it was so critical when important things could be missed in the chaos.

"I'll send down Delores. Give me a minute."

Anita nodded her thanks, as another patient stepped up the desk with a bloody rag held to his head.

Dixie looked down the hall to see Joe coming out of his room and headed straight to him. "Joe, Johnny and Roy have a patient coming in, unconscious, hypotensive, but normal rhythm strip."

"DIXIE!"

"Okay," Joe told her. "I've got this, go."

"Dr. Early, they need you in room six emergently," a young nurse told him.

"Thank you, Delores. Can you tell Dr. Morton that we are expecting a patient coming in by ambulance?"

"Yes, Dr. Early." Heading to the waiting room, she saw Dr. Morton there talking to a patient but was immediately interrupted by Dixie.

"Delores, I need you to help…" She looked up to see Kel yelling at one of the float nurses. "Go to trauma four right away and help Dr. Brackett with sutures. I'll send Lacey down to the waiting room."

"Okay, Dixie, I just need to…"

"DIXIE!" Brackett called into the hallway.

Dixie took her by the shoulder and turned her around. "Now, before I have to peel him off the ceiling."

Delores laughed a bit. "Yes, ma'am. Can't have that can we?"

Looking as serious as possible, Dixie shook her head. "No, we can't. Go."

"DIXIE!"

Once again, she returned to the waiting room to help Mike triage new arrivals.

* * *

Chet put the dishes in the sink. "Man, Johnny could earn a medal in how to avoid his kitchen chores."

Marco shook his head. "He's on a run. It's not like he's somewhere taking a nap."

Chet narrowed his brow. "I wouldn't put it past him. If he has time to play around, then the phantom has time to play, too."

Rolling his eyes, Marco shoved another plate at him. "Dry."

* * *

Kel taped down the dressing and gave discharge instructions to the teenager.

"Keep it dry and come back in five days for a check. We'll take the sutures out in ten days."

His mother frowned at him. "Next time you'll stay out of that rotting tree house, won't you."

"Yes, mom."

Kel gave him a small smile. "Good advice, young man. The nurse will give you the prescription for the antibiotic and pain medicine."

"Thank you, Dr. Brackett," the mother told him.

Stepping outside the room, he glanced down the hallway and was surprised to see it quieter than when he went into the suture room. Mike walked up to him.

"I don't think I've seen a night like this since I started my residency."

Kel clapped him on the shoulder. "Good experience, though."

The man agreed. "Definitely."

"Where's Joe?"

"He got busy with a head injury that came in."

Kel nodded as another emergency page for him came over the intercom system. Now there was a code happening on the floor.

"See you in passing again," Mike told him, then headed down to the waiting room for the next patient.

When he and Dixie came out of the room, after stabilizing the code patient, they met back up at the nurse's station. She shook her head. "All the criticals have been seen, Joe is suturing up the head lac, and we still have about eight low acuity patients to evaluate."

Kel already felt drained, and the night was still young. "Well, let's get them done and get this place cleaned up before the next wave hits us." He looked at the board. "51's patient was okay?"

Dixie started to say something, then shook her head. "I've not seen them. Let me check with Joe, I probably just missed them in the chaos."

Kel nodded, and picked up the next chart, heading to another room.

In room six, Joe was sitting on a stool at the head of the bed with a tray full of instruments. "Dix, can you order a skull series, and see where pharmacy is with the antibiotics?"

She nodded. "Sure. Joe, did you see the patient that Johnny and Roy brought in?"

He shot a look at the clock. "No, Mike got them."

"Okay,"

"And, he'll need a room in the ICU for observation tonight."

"I'll call them now."

* * *

The men sat in front of the TV for some late-night quiet time before bedding down for some hopeful rest. Mike passed Hank the popcorn, as they were all engrossed in a horror movie that featured some midnight serial killer on the prowl.

"Where does he even get the supplies for that?" Marco asked as they watched the mystery man mix a bowl of toxic chemicals that immediately emitted a gas.

"It's Hollywood, they can make anything happen," Chet told him. "Besides, I'm sure most of that stuff you can get under the kitchen sink."

"That's not reassuring," Mike muttered as they watched the bedroom fill up with the gassy substance, then the victim in the bed began gasping for air until they stopped moving.

"That's number eight," Chet said nonchalantly. "At this rate, he won't get caught until we get up tomorrow."

Hank looked at the clock over the kitchen door again, his brow pressed down. Mike saw him.

"They probably just got stuck at the ER," he offered the worried Captain.

"It's been a while. I think I'll call and make sure."

Getting up, Hank moved to the bay and picked up the radio.

"Station 51, to dispatch."

_Dispatch, go-ahead 51._

"Can I get a 10-20 on Squad 51."

_Hold Station 51. _

Hank waited, though not patiently, especially when the pause was much longer than expected.

_Station 51, Squad 51 is not responding to their radio._

"What was their last known location?"

_Last known location 714 Forest Grove Drive, cross street, Driscoll. Time out was 1817. _

"Dispatch, can you confirm arrival at Rampart with the patient?"

_Hold 51._

* * *

Dixie ran out to the empty nurse's station to answer the endlessly ringing phone. Playing secretary didn't help her frustration with the craziness of the shift.

"Emergency, Nurse McCall."

Her eyes got wide, and her breath quickened. "Hold on, dispatch."

Running into Joe's room first, she found him finished with sutures and doing another neuro assessment on the quiet patient. "Joe, did you see 51's patient?"

"No, I thought Mike did."

Dixie didn't even answer him, running down the hall to find Mike talking to a mother holding a young child with a fever. "Mike, please tell me you took care of 51's patient."

"51 had a patient?"

"You haven't seen them?"

"Not tonight."

Her heart was racing now. She headed to Kelly, who was trying to get an IV in a toddler who desperately needed fluids for a stomach virus. "Kel, dispatch is on the phone, they can't reach Johnny and Roy. Have you seen them?"

"No, Joe was going to take their patient."

She was in panic mode now. "They never arrived."

"What?!" He looked at the clock. "That was almost two hours ago."

He passed the IV supplies to the nurse and left with Dixie, heading back to the phone. He picked up the receiver.

"This is Dr. Brackett, Squad 51 has never arrived with the patient, do you know where they are?"

He paused for a minute listening, then hung up. "Damn it."

"Kel?"

"They can't reach them by radio."

* * *

_51, Rampart confirms that Squad 51 never arrived with their patient. How do you wish to proceed?_

"Code I to their last location, call for police back up and we'll need a second squad."

_10-4 Station 51._

Before Hank could get around the corner, the klaxons were going off.

ENGINE 51, CODE I, 714 FOREST GROVE DRIVE, CROSS STREET DRISCOLL. POLICE HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED. SQUAD 68 RESPOND WITH ENGINE 51. TIME OUT 2024.

Mike caught his expression first. "Cap?"

"Johnny and Roy never made it to the ER with their patient."

Everyone was immediately on their feet with a new sense of urgency that sent a chill through them all.

Something was very wrong.

Hank directed Mike through the streets, then through the neighborhoods until they pulled in front of the Squad, sitting quietly in the dark. The quick look between the two men spoke of a deep dread on what they might find. No one was staying behind, not this time, as they all ran to the front door. Finding it unlocked, Hank was inside first.

"GAGE! DESOTO!" He looked back. "Spread out and find them."

Mike headed to the kitchen, with Marco and Chet going down the hallway, while Hank opened the garage door and flipped on the light.

"JOHNNY! ROY!" Chet called out, feeling the hairs stand up on the back of his neck as they moved through the quiet house.

At the end of the hall, there was a soft flickering light, the light images from the TV reflecting through the cracked open door.

"CAP!" Marco yelled out.

Both men moved to the unconscious bodies that greeted them. Roy was on his back, arms fully extended outward, still in his turnout coat. Marco headed to him first, while Chet moved over to Johnny, who was crumpled on his side beside the patient.

Hank and Mike were right behind them. "Dear God," Hank gasped out. "What the hell happened?"

Mike looked around the room and found a small heater plugged in the furthest corner, old and worn out in appearance. He caught his breath.

"Cap, we need to get out of here, right now!" He pointed to the plug, which was smoking.

The pieces fell into place immediately. An old heater and small space meant carbon monoxide poisoning. The smoking plug was the ignition point. In a single breath, he wasn't sure if they would make it out in time.

"Pick um up, NOW!" He yelled at them. "GET OUT!"

No one questioned him. They got Roy over Marco's shoulder, and Johnny hoisted onto Chet's. Mike and Hank grabbed the patient and the equipment. They headed straight for the front door. Hank was out last, three steps outside when the gas inside the bedroom lit up, sending a fireball of flame tearing through the house at lightning speed. The explosion was enough to knock them all to the ground, as each man laid on their victim to protect them.

Mike raced back to pick his Captain up off the ground, helping him find his footing again.

"I'm okay." He picked up his HT and called for a second alarm.

Two police cars pulled up behind the engine, the men running over to help everyone back to their feet.

Hank headed straight to the downed men. "Chet?" He leaned over Johnny's body.

"Pulse is slow, weak Cap. I don't think he's breathing." Leaning in, he gave the medic two breaths, then checked his pulse again.

"Marco, get a line on this, help is coming."

Chet gave another breath, then moved over to Roy, who was right beside him. The assessment was the same. There was nothing he could do but give them breaths and hope that their hearts kept beating. Hank knelt beside him and opened up the biophone.

"Rampart, this is Engine 51, do you read?"

On the other end, an extremely anxious staff was ready for the call. "51, we read you. Go ahead."

"Rampart, I have two code I's and a patient." He looked over to Chet's assessment of the older man. "Rampart, the initial patient is DOA. The code I's are unresponsive." He already knew they were aware of who the Code I's were. "Gage's heart rate is 60, there are no spontaneous respirations and he is unresponsive. Unable to assess further, Rampart. We have another squad on the way. DeSoto is the same, pulse is 50. We are providing ventilations. Carbon monoxide poisoning is suspected. I don't think any injuries from the explosion."

Dixie was almost in tears as she began to direct the nurses in setting up two trauma rooms.

_51, begin 100% oxygen ventilation. I need them transported as soon as possible._

"10-4, Rampart. Will advise when the second squad is here."

Kelly ran his fingers through his hair, and Joe shook his head. "How did we miss this? What the hell happened?"

Joe felt terrible. "We all thought someone else had seen them in the chaos."

Kel was growing angrier by the minute. "We better figure out what happened fast." He looked over to Dixie. "Call down to respiratory, have the hyperbaric chamber set up and ready. We may have two patients for it."

"How long do you think their exposure was, Kel?"

It was a loaded question. Dangerous levels of carbon monoxide caused convulsions, heart failure, respiratory failure, and brain damage, even death. There was no way to know until they could test their blood.

He glanced at the clock. "Let's pray, not too long."

* * *

Squad 68 pulled up with Brice and Dwyer grabbing boxes before running over. They were shocked to find out who their two patients were. Hank had already moved over to help Mike and Marco battle the now raging inferno in front of them, struggling to protect the neighboring houses. Chet quickly updated them as they began assessing the men.

The lineman could find a thousand complaints about Brice, but right now, he was thankful for the man's precision in coordinating the team for the two patients, his attention to detail, and the lack of hesitation to the men he was working on. Chet realized his hands were shaking.

"You did a good job, Kelly," Brice said very matter of factly.

Chet continued the ventilations on Roy, unable to even reply back to the focused medic. Dwyer called in the details and received orders on them both. Quickly IV's were placed, and the next decision was if they needed airways.

"Gage is starting to breathe on his own," Brice updated them. "We will continue his 100% oxygen by mask."

Dwyer nodded and changed him over to a facemask, still concerned that neither man had shown any sign of responsiveness.

"Roy?" Chet asked with deep worry.

"He will need an airway."

Hank stepped over as the airway was slipped into his throat. With the ambulance now on scene, both were quickly loaded up and disappeared into the dark.

"Are they going to make it, Cap?" Mike asked quietly.

"I sure hope so," he answered, though he had no idea what the real answer was. He had one important question to deal with first.

What the hell happened to his men.

* * *

Everyone was at the ER bay doors when the ambulance's pulled up. Johnny was unloaded first, still unconscious, but breathing on his own.

"I'll take him to room three," Joe said. "Mike."

Mike nodded and followed him as they disappeared around the corner.

Roy was unloaded next, and Dixie was right at his side. "Oh, Roy."

"Room two," Kel told Brice.

"He began making some spontaneous breaths en-route."

Kel nodded. "Dix, blood gas, electrolytes, chest x-ray, and get an oxyhemoglobin. I need to know right away if he needs decompression."

She nodded and hurried to get everything done.

He listened to his heart and lungs, then gave him a hard-sternal rub. Roy barely responded to the painful procedure, but at least he was responding to something. With labs drawn and x-ray assessed, the doctor moved out to check on the other patient. What he found was Mike trying to hold down a combative Johnny who wasn't responding to verbal commands.

"Well he's awake," Mike told them as Johnny tried to get up. "Johnny, it's Dr. Morton, I need you to lay down and relax."

Johnny was mumbling but not making coherent sentences yet. Dixie moved up beside him, her fingers brushed back his hair.

"Johnny, you're okay, listen to me. It's Dixie, you're okay. Roy's here too. We've got you both."

Johnny calmed though he never opened his eyes.

"That's it, relax for me and let us take care of you."

"Roy." It was the only understandable word the man had made.

"Yes, Roy's here too."

"Roy," Johnny whispered before falling back into unconsciousness.

A lab tech ran in the room and handed them some results.

"Joe?" Dixie asked.

"Johnny's CO level is sixteen, Roy's is eighteen." He shook his head. The men were very lucky. "It could have been a lot worse. How's Roy looking?"

"Still being ventilated, unresponsive. I'm worried about him," Joe answered. "We could still decompress him, he meets the criteria."

"I think it will give him a better chance," Kel agreed.

* * *

Exhausted after cleaning up the fire, Hank called the station in 10-8 to Rampart. They needed to see how their friends were doing. The crew walked up to the desk and found Dixie wiping her eyes, clearly upset.

"Mrs. McCall," Hank said, getting her attention. "Dixie?"

"Hank, oh, I'm sorry." She dried her eyes. "It's just been an emotional night."

"That it has. How are they?" Seeing her so upset, left him with a punch to the gut feeling.

"Johnny's across the hall here, he's starting to wake up, but he's still very disoriented. His CO level was pretty high, but he's responding well to oxygen. They're going to move him up to ICU in just a bit."

"Roy?" Chet asked with a heavy heart.

Dixie hesitated.

"Dix?"

"Roy hasn't responded as well. He's still on the ventilator and has been moved to the hyperbaric chamber for therapy."

"Hyperbaric?" Hank asked.

"It basically pushes the oxygen back into the vessels. It's his best chance."

"Can we see them?"

"Roy will be treated over the next twenty-four hours, he won't be back up until then. But you can see Johnny now." She slid out of her chair and came around the desk. Inside the room, the lights were dimmed, and Johnny's bed had his head raised up a bit. He still had the oxygen mask on but turned his head when they came in.

"Cap."

They gathered around him. "We came to check on you, John. How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy, tired. What happened, Cap?" He was so confused.

"Do you remember responding to the man down?"

Johnny narrowed his brow. "Yes, he was unconscious when we got there."

"It was carbon monoxide."

His brow pressed way down in a frown. "CO?"

Hank nodded.

"Roy felt sick." He closed his eyes. "He collapsed, and I couldn't see enough to help him."

Suddenly, he tried to sit up more.

"Hey, there, easy does it."

"Cap, Roy, where 's Roy."

Hank glanced over to Dixie. "He's getting treated too. They're moving you up to ICU, and we'll keep a check on Roy."

Nodding, Johnny closed his eyes again and grew still, back asleep. They all stepped out of the room to find the doctors now at the desk.

"I've called Joanne, she's coming as soon as the sitter arrives for the kids."

"Hank," Kel greeted him. He frowned a bit at the weary, soot-covered men. "Are you all okay?" Worry about the rest of them now flooded him.

Hank nodded. "We barely got them out before the house exploded. He almost took us all out."

Kel did a visual scan of the exhausted men. "Let's get you boys checked out."

Too tired to disagree with the doctor, Hank just nodded to the others as Dixie divided the into rooms for assessment. Kelly followed Hank into his room.

"When the dust settles, we need to figure out how this happened," Kel told him.

"I knew something was wrong. I don't know how, but those men don't waste time. It wasn't like them not check-in when the run was over." He looked up to the also very upset doctor. "I should have called dispatch sooner."

Kel shook his head. "You got them here."

"Doc, we were in that house less than four minutes before it exploded. We almost lost them both."

"We're going to do whatever is necessary to ensure this never happens again."

The alarm from the nurses' station immediately caught their attention. It was Johnny's room.

* * *

His entire body hurt, ached, like ebbs of the ocean, shoving him around without control. The headache felt like a bomb had gone off in his head, and though he knew he could, he wasn't sure he even wanted to open his eyes. In the quiet, he finally looked at where he was, the white walls of the hospital, confirming his worst fears. It _had_ happened. There was a big part of him that had hoped it was a dream, watching Roy go down, being unable to help him. The problem was, there was no memory past that. Looking around, he realized he wasn't alone. Joanne was in the room with him, curled up asleep in the chair.

Why was she here?

"Joanne?" His voice was rough, dry, and hurt to speak. He pushed off the nasal cannula from his face and tried to sit up. "Joanne?"

She woke up and smiled when she saw he was conscious. But there was something in her eyes that made his heart skip a beat. She looked utterly exhausted, her eyes red, with dark circles under them. Standing up, she quickly wrapped her arms around him, him returning the hug, then feeling her shake with tears.

"Joanne, what happened, where's Roy?"

Pulling back, she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thank God, you're okay. You had us all so worried, Johnny."

"Where is Roy." His heart was beating out of his chest, his breaths quick now, sending the monitor alarm off.

Her own worry escalated. "You need to stay calm for me, Johnny, please."

If he had to ask her again, he was going to climb out of bed and walk the halls himself. His stomach was in a knot. He'd never seen her look so sad and his heart sank. "No."

Taking his hand in hers, she gently shook her head. "They found you both unconscious. Roy's condition was more critical, and they put him in the hyperbaric chamber." She took in a shaking breath. "He just kept getting worse until his heart and lungs both failed." Looking up to him, the tears ran down her face. "They did everything they could, Johnny."

"No," he just kept shaking his head. "I don't believe you."

He was getting angry now. No, this wasn't possible.

"They think his earlier injuries, from the accident, made it harder for his body to cope."

Johnny pushed back the blankets and ripped the IV out of his arm. "No!"

Joanne stumbled backward, trying to get out of his way. "Johnny, please."

A nurse came in at the sounds of the monitors alarming. "Mr. Gage, you have to get back to bed."

"Where is he?!"

She was sobbing now, begging him. "Johnny, please."

He turned to her sharply. "I want to know where he is!"

"Gage!"

His head shot up to see Hank standing in the doorway now. The Captain wasn't going to stop him until he saw the look on his face. He was hurting too, the pain etched in his features, stopping Johnny in his tracks.

"He's not here anymore, John. Get back into bed. We almost lost you too."

He knew he was hyperventilating, he could feel his chest heaving as the shock and anxiety flood him. The edges grew dim until darkness enveloped him.

* * *

There were few times in a firefighters career that called for dress uniforms, either for excellent events, like promotions and ceremonies or for times like this when they attended a funeral. He hated this uniform. He hated today. He hated his life. Why had he survived, yet his brother lost? It wasn't fair. Looking over to Joanne, in her elegant black dress, holding herself together for the sake of her children. Then there was Jennifer, too young to grasp what was happening, that her father was gone forever. That he wouldn't be there to run to when Chris made her mad, or she fell and needed reassurance. Chris just looked empty. He was eight now, and old enough to understand a little that his life had just changed forever. He'd lost his soccer coach, his defender, his mentor, and the most important man in his life.

Quietly, he fought back the tears. The last week had been like a bad dream, and for the first time, he knew what he had to do. He'd made a promise to Roy, and he had no intention of breaking it. No matter what, he would be there for Joanne and the kids. Reaching over, he took her hand and gave it a squeeze. She stepped closer and leaned her head on his shoulder for support. Soon he felt Chris taking the other hand and Jenny pressing against his legs. He picked the unusually quiet girl up, feeling her arms just wrap around him, her head nestling into his shoulder.

The rest of his crew were lined up beside them, then in military order, they approached the casket, now covered with an American flag, and lifted it up. Johnny slipped his arm around Joanne's waist, helping her stay standing as they filed in behind the casket and moved out of the church. Outside, were two rows of firetrucks, emergency vehicles, and squads, forming a path for them to follow. Hundreds of uniformed firemen filed in behind them as they made the procession. A procession of death. It was something he'd participated in when fellow firefighters passed, but now, it was different. This was his family hurting, his personal loss. Walking with them were his parents, and along the path were family, friends, and the Carson community there the pay their respects.

It was nothing short of impressive, the honor they paid to their fallen comrade, a man who had given so much to the department, and ultimately his life. Breathtaking in more ways than he could describe. After loading the casket into the hearse, they made their way to the cemetery. The graveside ceremony was exhausting, and he knew a part of himself was lowered into the grave with his brother. A part of him was gone forever.

It was final, but it was far from over.

* * *

"I HATE HIM!"

Johnny let out a sigh at the hysterical young boy. "Chris, I need you to understand why there are rules. You mother has to work, she has to provide for you and Jenny."

"I HATE YOU BOTH!"

After he stormed up to his room, Johnny closed his eyes and tried to envision how Roy would have handled the temperamental, angry, confused, youngster. He had a commanding, but compassionate presence with his children, that Johnny didn't grasp yet. Maybe, he never would. He just wasn't the fatherly type. It seemed that everything he tried to do just went wrong. Letting out a sigh, he pressed his palms against his jeans and headed up the stairs.

After a small knock on the door, he opened it to find Christopher face down, crying into his pillow. The tantrums had worsened since the funeral, but now months later, he needed Chris to pull it together somehow. He knew that he and Joanne were struggling into a life without Roy, and he needed Chris's help to get them all to a better place.

Without speaking, he just sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed the boy's back, offering nonjudgemental reassurance and letting him know he wasn't alone.

"Why did he have to die?" Chris asked as he rolled over onto his back.

Johnny fought back the moisture in his eyes. "I don't know, buddy. A terrible, horrible accident. But, you know, one of his biggest worries about something happening to him, was what would happen to you if he was gone."

"He worried about me?"

"You, Jenny, your mom. He loved you so much, he never wanted to leave you, and he wanted you to always be happy."

Christopher thought about it for a minute, then sat up, facing Johnny. "The night before he went to work, we had a fight, and I told him I hated him." The tears ran down his face. "I don't hate him, Uncle Johnny."

Reaching out, he pulled him into a hug. "I know you don't, and your dad knew it too."

"I wish I could tell him that."

"You can, every night in your dreams when he checks on you, you tell him."

The boy nodded in his shoulder. "I love you, Uncle Johnny."

He kissed the top of his head. "I love you too, Chris. We're going to be okay."

* * *

Screaming at the referee had gotten him into trouble more than once, but here he was again, up on his feet demanding action for a trivial infraction on the field. Joanne was laughing at him.

"Will you sit down, or they're going to put you in time out again."

Johnny shook his head and pointed out to the field. "Did you see that little Michael? He keeps under kicking Chris."

She laughed again. "Sit," she said, tugging on his arm. "It's just a game."

He plopped down on the stands. "They better win."

"They're going to win. Look, they're up by ten, they've got this."

Jenny wrapped her arms around him from the back. "Uncle Johnny, you're crazy."

Reaching around, he pulled her into his lap, inundating her with tickles until she was begging for mercy through giggles. They all jumped to their feet.

"SCORE!" Johnny yelled at the team, giving Chris plenty of hoots and hollers.

"They won!" Jenny screamed with excitement.

"You better believe they won!"

Everyone headed off the stands to greet the new regional champions. Chris ran up, yelling.

"We did it!"

Joanne gave him a big hug. "You sure did!"

"Congrats little buddy, I knew you could do it." Johnny gave him another big hug. "Now, let's go celebrate."

Sitting at the pizza shop, all the boys from the team got a congratulatory speech from their Captain. What caught him by surprise was the new Captain specifically mentioning Roy and all that he had done for the team over the early years, getting them to this point of being champions. Joanne teared up, and Johnny just hugged her.

"Just when I think it won't hurt anymore," she whispered to him.

"It'll get easier. It won't ever go away, but it will get easier." It was something he kept telling himself, still not sure if it would ever be true. The painful loss was constantly there.

She sat up and wiped her tears away. "How's it going with Evans?"

Evans was his new partner, a rookie, making him the senior medic at the station. The man was good, but loud, talkative, and constantly begging to drive. He couldn't help but smile at the thought. Now, who did that sound like? Roy would tell him the shoe was on the other foot.

"Good, he's figuring things out."

"Well, when he has someone as good as you to show him the ropes, he will do just fine."

"Yea, I guess so."

"Hey," her fingers went to his chin. "I know it's not easy. I can't imagine how hard it is for you, but you're doing great, Johnny."

"It's just hard sometimes. I still go to the passenger side and expect to turn and see him sitting there."

Her fingers caressed his cheek. "I know. I still can't sleep in our bed." She smiled a bit. "And I still expect to see him shaving in the mirror every morning, leaving that annoying stubble all over the place for me to clean up. But, we're going to get through this."

They looked up to see Chris walk up and get his trophy.

"We're going to get through this for them."

He nodded. This was his family, and he would do anything for them. Anything.

* * *

Joanne slammed the door and stormed into the living room. "That's it. I'm done. No more."

Johnny was sitting on the couch watching TV and just laughed at her. "Another winner, huh?"

Tossing her pocketbook on the table, she plopped down in the chair beside him. "What a nightmare."

He raised his brow. "What happened this time?"

"It was going okay until he started telling me his entire families medical history. Who had cancer, who had diabetes, who had warts," she snickered. "So, I finally asked him why he was telling me all this. He goes, well, for when we have kids."

Johnny was already laughing.

"I was like, we've not even made it past appetizers yet!" Then she started laughing with him.

"Well, at least he was being honest with you, unlike Ethan, who told you he was a college professor and ended up being a college janitor."

She shook her head. "I don't remember dating being this hard." Then she grew quiet. "But then, I knew he was the one before we were even old enough to date." Her smile was warm.

"Give it time," he told her.

"I know." She stood up. "Hey, how's Jen feeling?"

"She didn't eat but wasn't running a fever or anything. She went to bed early."

"MOM!" Chris called out, running down the stairs.

They were both on their feet. "What?"

"I think something's wrong with Jenny, she's crying hard."

Everyone dashed up the stairs, now hearing her crying from her room.

"Jenny, what's wrong baby?" Joanne scooped her up into her arms, but all the young girl could do was cry.

"Jen, what hurts?" Johnny was instantly at her side, assessing her.

She was pale, diaphoretic, her breaths short and quick. "Stomach."

He reached down and checked her pulse, which was racing, then her stomach, palpating it gently. Looking up, he nodded to Chris.

"Go call the fire department."

"Johnny?"

"I think it's her appendix. She needs to go to the hospital right away."

Two hours later, the three of them were pacing the waiting room as Kelly Brackett came out of the double OR doors.

"Doc?"

He smiled. "We got it before it ruptured and she did great. She'll be in recovery for about an hour, then we'll move her to a room." Kel returned Joanne's hug. "She's going to be just fine."

When they were alone again, she wrapped her arms around Johnny. "I don't know what we'd do without you, Johnny."

"You know I'm here for you guys."

It had been four years, and he'd never wavered in his devotion to his family. He was in this for the long haul, as long as they needed him.

* * *

"You look beautiful."

Jennifer blushed as Johnny pinned the corsage to her dress. "Thanks, Uncle Johnny."

"Everyone at the dance will be jealous," he winked at her.

"You look pretty dashing yourself," she teased him. "Exactly who are you trying to impress?" Her brow went up.

He feigned shock. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Jennifer nodded. "Uh-huh, sure." Her smile was beautiful.

"Now, where is this fella at? Doesn't he know it's not cool to be late for a date?"

"He'll be here."

Then the doorbell rang, and she jumped. Johnny laughed. "Nervous much?" He grinned. "I'll get it."

"No way!" She ran in front of him. "You are not scaring this one off!"

He laughed. "Me? Scare off random boys who are trying to steal my Jenny Bear from me?"

"Yes, you! Look now, Matt's different."

"Keep going," he encouraged her.

"He's, well, he's special."

He saw the look on her face and felt a new form of nervousness. She loved this guy. Maybe it was puppy love, but this Matt clearly was different. "Okay. I'll behave."

"Please, don't give him a hard time," she pleaded with him.

"Don't worry. If this lasts past the prom, I'll have him interrogated by Chet."

"You wouldn't!"

He laughed until his cheeks were red. "I'll behave." He put his finger to his chest and made a cross, making her laugh.

"Thank you, Uncle Johnny." Then she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for being here for my prom. It means a lot to me."

"Well, your mom had to work late, and someone had to be here to check out this, Matt fella."

When he opened the door, a tall, handsome young man was standing there waiting. His suit was dark blue, matching her long satin dress and hair tie. Johnny motioned for him to come in.

"Welcome," he told him.

The boy was clearly nervous. "Hi, I'm Matt."

"I'm Johnny, it's nice to meet you."

"Is Jennifer ready?"

She popped up behind him. "I'm ready."

"Wait," Johnny told them as he pulled out the camera. "Your mother would kill me if I didn't get pictures."

Reluctantly, they posed for many pictures before Johnny finally released them to go to the dance.

"Who's driving?" He asked.

"I'm driving, Sir."

Johnny raised his brow. "You have a license?"

"Yes, Sir."

"How old are you?"

"Uncle Johnny!"

"No, it's okay, Jennifer, he just wants to make sure you'll be okay," Matt said with a smile. "I'm seventeen, Sir. I'll have her home by eleven."

Johnny nodded. "Thank you, have a good time." Then he hesitated. "Not too good of a time!"

Jennifer laughed as they climbed into his car. Johnny waved to them, trying to fight down the endless scenes of possible bad outcomes, wrecks, drunken kids on the beach, or anything that could possibly happen.

When the door opened again, it was Joanne coming home from work. She was exhausted.

"Long day?" He passed her a glass of tea.

"Very." She looked around. "Did I miss them?"

"I got pictures," he grinned.

But her reaction wasn't what he expected as she teared up. "I missed them."

"Hey, she understood."

"I should have been here."

"She knows you have to work. Hey, I have an idea. Go change real quick."

Joanne tilted her head at him.

"Go," he said, pushing her towards the stairs. "And put on a dress!" He called up to her.

Her back questioning glance made him laugh, but he had a plan.

When she came back down the stairs, she took his breath away. "Wow."

"Is this too much?"

He reached out and took her hand. "It's perfect, you look beautiful."

"Why thank you, Sir."

"Oh, no more Sir for tonight," he laughed. Grabbing his car keys, he smiled. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

When they pulled up into the High School parking lot, she looked over to him. "Really?"

He shrugged. "I never got a prom." Jumping out of the car, he went to the other side and opened her door. "Will you be my date tonight?"

She smiled and took his hand. "I'd love too."

Inside, the gymnasium was full of young teenage couples, the music was loud, and the decorations were set up for an Under The Sea dance. Joanne pointed out Jenny and Matt right away. Johnny nodded and headed them in the opposite direction. Going straight to the dance floor, they joined the crowd of teens and chaperones in the fun evening.

When the music slowed, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, pleased that she offered no resistance. She was enjoying the evening with him. They danced song after song, then partook of the punch and snacks on the tables.

"We better get home before them," she laughed.

He nodded in agreement. "I don't think they've even seen us."

"Good," she giggled as they snuck out the back doors.

Johnny was sitting on the front porch when they pulled up. He watched Matt open her door and help her out of the car, then kiss her on the cheek. After he pulled away, she joined him on the porch and sat down in the porch swing beside him.

"Have a nice time?"

"Yea, it was really nice. The music was good too."

"Good."

"What did you do, sit here and wait for me?"

He nodded. "Just waited. Your mom went to bed; she has to get up early tomorrow. I told her I'd make sure you got home safely."

For a few minutes, they just swung in the warm evening air together.

"Uncle Johnny?"

"Yes?"

"You make my mom, I don't know, happy again."

That caught him by surprise, and she smiled.

"Dad's been gone, almost ten years now, and you've always been here for us."

"I promised him I would take care of you guys and your mom."

"Tonight? I've not seen her that happy in a long time."

He cocked his head. "What?"

Jennifer grinned. "Did you two actually think we didn't see you?"

Johnny laughed. "Guess we weren't as sneaky as we thought, huh?"

"You know it's okay."

"What's okay?"

"For you to love my mom."

He was stunned. "Jenny, I'm just here as a friend, you know that, right?"

She stood up, leaned over, and kissed his cheek. "I know what I saw. I just wanted you to know that Chris and I are okay with it."

Turning around, she left, going back into the house, leaving him alone outside to contemplate her words.

Did he _love_ Joanne? She had dated, and he had been dating too, neither yet finding the right person. He understood her years of hesitation. Could she ever love anyone after losing Roy? Could he, dare he love his brother and best friend's wife? Jenny stating it had been ten years was a harsh reminder of how long they had been without him in their lives.

"What are you doing out here so late?"

Looking up, he saw Joanne coming out the door, in her bathrobe. "Just enjoying the evening."

She sat down beside him. "Sounds like Jen had a great time."

"Yea and we were found," he chuckled.

"No! Was she upset?"

He shook his head. "No, not at all. She said it looked like we were having a nice time."

"It was a wonderful evening, thank you." Reaching over, she took his hand.

"Jo, if I ever overstep, you'll let me know, right?"

"Overstep? What do you mean?"

"With the kids, with you."

She tilted her head. "You've never overstepped with any of us, Johnny." Squeezing his hand, she shifted in her seat to face him. "I care a lot about you."

"I care a lot about you too, Jo. It's just…"

She smiled softly at him. "I know. It's awkward."

"Very."

"Maybe, we should just take it slow, and see how it goes."

He agreed. Leaning in, he prepared to kiss her, saw her eyes close and his lips moved to hers. Then he stopped. He couldn't, he just couldn't. This was Roy's wife, and to him, she would always be that.

"I'm sorry."

She smiled and gave him a small nod. "It's okay."

He felt like he was letting her down. "I just can't."

This time she laughed softly and scooted up close to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Just don't leave us. I'm not ready to lose you both."

"Never."

* * *

They sat in the front row, feeling a swell of pride that couldn't be understated. The speaker at the podium began reading off the names, with men and women, one by one coming up the stairs of the stage to receive their certificates. When Chris's name was called, it was accompanied by a list of honors that made everyone who knew him beam. Fireman, Certified Paramedic, and Search and Rescue credentialed. He had excelled at everything he set his eyes on. When the ceremony was over, he joined Johnny, Joanne, Jennifer, Mike, Hank, Chet, and Marco in the crowd. Everyone was overjoyed with his graduation.

"Your father would be so proud of you," Joanne told him with tears in her eyes.

"I just want to make him proud."

Johnny pulled him into a hug. "There's no one prouder than him looking down at you. Trust me."

"So, where are you getting stationed?" Chet asked him. "51?"

"I'm not sure yet. I put in for 51, but who knows."

"Well, if you make it to us, don't expect special treatment," Marco kidded him.

Chris laughed. "If anything, I expect it to be ten times harder with you guys there."

"Fifteen," Johnny added.

"Thanks, Uncle Johnny, that makes me feel better."

They all laughed at him.

"Don't worry, son, wherever you go, you'll be treated fairly," Hank told him.

"Is that a promise, Chief?"

He nodded. "It's a promise."

"Come on, it's time to party," Johnny told them.

"So, what's up with you and Joanne?" Chet teased Johnny as they walked towards the back of the crowd.

"Nothing, Chet, just like every other time you've asked."

"Hey man, it's been a long time, and I think everyone sees it except you two."

"Trust me, we see it. It just doesn't seem right, even after all this time."

"Roy's been gone for eleven years. Can't believe it though, still."

"I know. But, she's too important to me, she's family, and I wouldn't want to ever jeopardize what we have. It's not worth it."

"Sometimes, you have to take a chance to find what's right in front of you."

* * *

"Oh, honey, you look magical." Joanne took a tissue out of her clutch and wiped her tears away.

"Don't cry, mom, you promised you wouldn't cry," Jennifer told her.

"I lied," she laughed through her tears. "It's a mother's prerogative to cry at her daughter's wedding."

They hugged just as Johnny came into the dressing room with a small knock. "Everyone decent?"

"Define decent," Jennifer laughed.

"Wow, just wow." He gasped as he took her in. "You look amazing."

Jennifer ran her fingers under the lapel of his tux. "You look pretty sharp yourself."

Her wedding dress was ballroom style, elegant, and lacey. When her best friend, Maggie, put on her veil, they were speechless.

"Oh, baby," Joanne just started crying again.

"Oh, mom, it's okay," Jennifer told her. "You'll mess up your makeup."

"Matt is one lucky fella," Johnny told her. "Are you ready for this?"

She nodded. "Thank you for walking me down the aisle, Johnny. I can't think of anyone I would want more to give me away when my dad isn't here."

He kissed her cheek. "Anything for you, Jenny Bear." Wiping her tear away. "Now, now, no tears. This is a happy day."

"I wish he were here," she said in a whisper.

"I know, but he's here with us. I'm sure of that."

"Promise me something," she asked him, then whispered in his ear.

His eyes shot over to Joanne, who was watching them. "Anything for you."

When the music started, she looped her arm around his, and they started down the aisle. The church was full of friends and family, and he smiled with great pride at the beautiful young woman that was on his arm. A woman he had not only watched grow up but knew he had a small hand in who she had become.

"Who gives this woman?"

"Her mother and I do," Johnny replied, then passed her hand over to Matt's. "Treasure her."

Matt nodded, his own eyes moist with tears at how beautiful she was. "Always."

Johnny moved and sat down next to Joanne, his hand slipping into hers without even thinking about it. They had grown close over the years, their relationship casual, never pushing the limits of comfort. Yet, their comfort was high with each other now, and they both knew it. He listened to Jennifer and Matt exchange their vows, hearing the love in their voices. They'd dated since high school, promising to hold off on more until they were settled into college. Johnny tried to talk her into waiting until after graduation, but love couldn't wait, and they announced their engagement at Christmas dinner last year.

Everyone approved of Matt. He was in law school and just adored Jennifer, doting on her all the time. Johnny liked him, and for Jenny, that seemed to be the final seal of approval.

At the reception, the bride and groom had their first dance, seemingly lost in their own world as they looked into each other's eyes. When the music ended, Jennifer walked through the tables to find Johnny.

"Will you dance the father, daughter dance with me? You've been like a father to me for as long as I can remember."

Johnny felt his eyes moisten as he nodded. Taking her hand, they returned to the dance floor and began moving to the music.

"You make the prettiest bride I've ever seen."

"Thank you. But I'm sure you're a bit partial."

He shrugged and smiled. "Uncle's privilege."

"The best Uncle anyone could ever have."

"Your dad is beaming with pride right now at you."

She smiled. "Thank you for everything."

He pulled her close and hugged her. "I know you're all grown up now, but I'm always here for you."

* * *

"WHERE IS HE!" Johnny yelled through his mask.

Evans shook his head. "I DON'T KNOW!"

Johnny looked back to the Engine. "Cap?"

"He went upstairs!" Marco pointed into the house, then was instantly on his radio coordinating the other engines.

"Let's go!" Johnny called to Evans.

The men rushed into the burning building and headed immediately up the stairs. Johnny pointed to the left for Evans, and he headed to the other direction. The first room was clear, and he immediately went to the next room. There he found a bookshelf fallen down with a pair of legs sticking out from underneath. Johnny knew immediately who it was, and his heart almost stopped in his chest.

"God, no."

He immediately called into the radio for assistance and began trying to unbury the trapped body. Quickly, Evans was beside him.

"Cap wants us out of here, Johnny, the roof is going to come down."

Johnny shot him a look that could have killed. "I'm NOT leaving him!"

Evans just nodded. "Let's get this done fast."

The two men lifted the bookcase up and shifted it just enough to free the downed man. Johnny quickly moved his facemask and felt for a pulse.

"Come on, Chris, don't do this to me." He looked over to Evans. "No pulse. Beginning CPR."

Johnny pulled off his mask and gave him two breaths, then started compressions. Just as they started, the ceiling came down in the hallway, blocking their escape. He turned to Evans.

"Find us a way out of here!"

The man nodded and got on the radio, as Johnny continued CPR. Then the ground beneath him creaked. His eyes shot up to the lineman just as everything under him crumbled. Johnny's first instinct was to grab Chris, pulling him tight to his chest, then rotating his body, so he hit the ground first.

Then there was darkness.

When he felt on the edge of consciousness, all he could hear were sirens and lots of voices.

"Chris," he called out through a very hoarse voice. "Chris."

"Take it easy, Johnny," Marco told him. "We've got Chris, he's okay."

"Not breathing."

"No, you saved him, man, he's okay. Just let the medics do their job."

Chris was okay. Thank God. Then darkness came again.

The next time he woke, he felt a warm hand in his. He was in a hospital room again, and Joanne was sitting beside his bed, her head resting on the mattress.

"Hey."

Her head popped up. "Johnny?" She started crying immediately. "Oh, thank heavens."

"What happened?"

"The house fire, do you remember it?"

He nodded, then remembered. "Chris?"

She smiled at him. "He's okay. You saved him. How are you feeling?"

He stopped for a moment to assess himself. How did he feel? Pain. There was a lot of pain. "Hurts."

"You're lucky you're alive," the deep voice said as Kelly walked through the door.

Johnny now realized his leg was in a cast and elevated. "Broken leg?"

"Broken in four places, fractured hip, busted ribs, and a concussion."

"Bad?"

Kelly came up to him. "It's pretty bad, Johnny. You have eleven pins holding you together right now."

Johnny looked over to Joanne, who was crying. "What are you saying?"

"Johnny, you're going to spend months trying to walk again."

"And then I can get back to work?"

Kelly stayed silent, and Johnny pushed up on his elbows, immediately regretting his decision.

"Hey now, you're still not completely stable. I need you to rest."

"I will get back to work, right, doc?"

"Let's get you out of intensive care, then see how rehab goes."

Johnny shook his head in despair, not sure what to say.

"You're alive," Joanne told him. "When I thought I had lost you…"

He squeezed her hand. "I'm going to be fine. No tears."

She ran her fingers through his messy hair. "Johnny, I was so scared. So scared that I would lose you too. Johnny, I love you. I love you so much." Leaning down, she kissed him, and it was more passionate than he thought was possible.

When she pulled back, his hand went to her face. "I love you too."

"We've spent all these years trying so hard to not be what everyone else saw. I'm tired of fighting my feelings for you. I love you and I want to have you by my side from now on."

"I love you very much, I always have. But, now this," he pointed to his broken body. "I don't know where I'm going to end up."

"It doesn't matter to me. I will be there with you, no matter what. If you'll have me."

He pulled her closer. "I couldn't imagine anyone else at my side."

* * *

They stood on the beach, Jennifer at her side, Chris at his, underneath a white arch of flowers. The only ones with them were Hank, Marco, and Mike. They had lost Chet with the Pasadena earthquake, doing a heroic rescue to save a mother and child. Their little family was smaller and definitely older, but still one of the most important ones in his life.

Johnny shifted his walking cane to the other side as he took Joanne's hand. The silver strands in her hair glistened in the sun, matching his own greying temples. Jennifer stood with Matt, their beautiful daughter, now four holding the small basket of flowers. Christopher stood with his wife, Elizabeth, who held their infant son in her arms.

This was his family, a family that adopted him, then he adopted them right back. He loved them all more than he ever thought possible. And now, the woman who he had grown to love over the years, was standing before him, wanting to be his wife. She didn't care that he was broken, would never work as a firefighter again. She loved him anyway. They had been his support system, helping him through his fight to walk again.

He was teaching now, putting new recruits behind emergency vehicles that had more advanced equipment that neither he nor Roy, could have imagined when they were starting out. The knowledge of medics now was amazing, and he was grateful to be able to be a part of getting them on the streets.

Joanne squeezed his hand as the pastor read to them, walking them through their vows. Their vows that expressed what they had been through in the past, what brought them here, and the future that lay ahead. This was about their future together, as man and wife.

Roy being a part of their lives, was a lifetime ago now. He couldn't deny his heart ached for his brother, his best friend, and the loss that allowed him to be a part of this family.

He slipped the ring on her finger. And he said, "I do."

* * *

Walking down the path brought back way too many memories to him. There was a time when he hated this place, the pain fresh and terrible. Now, though, there was something soothing about being here. There was a peacefulness in the air that permeated him. He'd struggled through so many emotions over the years, but here, finally, his heart was at peace.

With a groan, he knelt down and pulled out the old flowers from the vase and replaced them. His fingers traced over the words etched in the stone.

Beloved husband, father, son, friend.

"It's been a lot of years, my friend, and so much has happened, but I thought it was time for one last update. The kids are all grown up now, and actually taking care of me. You have six grandkids and four great-grandchildren. Jenny has finished her Doctorate as a teacher and just got promoted to Principle of the local elementary school. Matt still adores her to the moon and back. He's a good man, Roy, and they are doing great. They live in Denver now. Yea, I know it's a long way, but they come to see me often, and we talk on the phone almost every day. Chris is a Captain now, over at 86. He's still married to Elizabeth, and she's still working as a museum director downtown. I live with them since it's pretty hard for me to get around these days. The ole hip and leg just never recovered from that last fire I fought. I do have one surprise for you, and I hope you're not mad at me, but I took Jo to see the Effiel Tower. Sometimes, she would get quiet and sad, and I knew why even if I couldn't do anything about it. I knew this was something you had always wanted to do for her, and we went for you, pally. It's been even harder since we lost her last winter. The pneumonia hit her hard, and she fought as hard as she could." He wiped a tear back. "She never stopped loving you, Roy, never. We had a good life, and I made sure she always had what she needed, but losing you was something I don't think she ever recovered from. Her heart always belonged to you, and I understood that. It just seemed like the right thing for us both to be there for each other. I'm sure she's with you in Heaven now because I can't imagine her being anywhere else but at your side."

With a painful groan, he stood back up. "These flowers are for her." He took a couple of steps, to where she rested right beside him. He chuckled. "You didn't think I would let her go far from you, did I?" Doing the same steps, he pulled out the old flowers and put in the new ones. "I miss you, Jo. The kids miss you too. You'll always be in my heart."

"You ready, Johnny?"

Christopher was the spitting image of Roy now, tall and handsome. "Almost." He looked back down. "I came by to tell you that I'm not sure I will make it back out for a while. Christopher here is taking me on a cruise to Alaska. Can you believe that Roy? Your boy is actually getting me on a cruise ship." He chuckled.

"I'll take good care of him, dad." Christopher told him. "Just like he's taken care of us all these years."

Kneeling, Chris put a token down on the gravestone. "I saved this for you."

Johnny looked at him.

"It's my St. Christopher. He gave it to me a long time ago when I was a brat and made life so difficult for him."

Johnny nodded with a smile. "Oh, I remember those days. But you grew up into a fine young man. Your dad would be very proud of you."

"Come on, it's getting late, and we have packing to do."

Sadness enveloped him. "Goodbye, my friends. I love you both."

Taking Johnny by the arm, Chris walked him down the path and to the car. When the rain started to fall, Johnny settled into the backseat and grew quiet.

"You okay, Johnny?"

"I'm ready, Chris."

* * *

He felt one hundred years old, his body hurt, his lungs burned, and his head was pounding. If his eyelids didn't feel like they weighed twenty pounds, he would have opened them. He had fallen, collapsed, and maybe he was dying now. It felt like he was dying. He wasn't ready to die, then again, maybe he was. Maybe it was his time. He'd lived a mostly good life, many more good memories than bad. He'd had his lifetime. Then his mind went to Roy, and it surprised him that his first memory was of seeing him collapse on the floor in that house. He wanted to talk to his friend again. He needed to hear his voice, but the deep feeling of sadness was overwhelming.

There was something warm in his hand now. It was comforting, and he felt his body relax.

"Johnny? Can you hear me? Johnny? Open your eyes for me."

He knew that voice, it was warm and safe.

"Come on, open your eyes for me."

The smile that greeted him almost made him forget how much pain he felt. "Joanne."

Pulling back, she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thank God, you're okay. You had us all so worried, Johnny."

The look on her face was familiar, like a memory that was rapidly disappearing. "Where's Roy?"

She looked utterly exhausted, her eyes red, with dark circles under them. Standing up, she quickly wrapped her arms around him. He returned the hug, then felt her shake with tears.

"Joanne, where's Roy?"

He tried to push himself up but felt the room begin to spin.

"Hey, take it easy, now. You've been through a lot."

"Joanne!"

Her own worry escalated. "Johnny, I need you to stay calm, okay?"

If he had to ask her again, he was going to climb out of bed and walk the halls himself. His stomach was in a knot.

He'd never seen her look so sad and his heart sank. "No."

Taking his hand in hers, she gently shook her head. "They found you both unconscious. Roy's condition was more critical, and they put him in the hyperbaric chamber." She took in a shaking breath. "He's not regained consciousness."

He almost gasped. "He's alive?"

She nodded. "He's alive, but they don't know if he'll wake up." She teared up again.

"I need to see him."

"You need to rest."

They looked up to see Kel coming in.

"Doc? What happened to us?"

"CO poisoning. They just barely got you both out in time, before the explosion."

"There was an explosion?" He pushed himself up in the bed. "Roy's in the hyperbaric chamber?"

He nodded. "He finished the treatment. He's here in the ICU too."

"Finished?"

Joanne ran her fingers through his messy hair. "You've been out for two days. You had me scared to death."

"I need to see him, Joanne. I can't explain it, but I need to talk to him right away."

"Not until tomorrow, you're staying put. Your own levels were critical."

"Doc, it can't wait until tomorrow."

Kel shook his head. "It will have too. I've ordered strict bed rest for you. I'll check back on you in the morning."

"Doc, the old man?"

"I'm sorry, he didn't make it."

"Rest, Johnny. I need you to be okay," Joanne told him as she kissed his forehead. "I'll be with Roy, but I won't be far. I'll check on you before I leave."

He nodded and closed his eyes, letting the drugged exhaustion take him.

The next time he woke up, the room was dark except for the small nightlight from the bathroom. He was also alone. Pushing the covers back, he swung his legs over the side and had to sit there for a minute until his stomach and head settled back down. He was still feeling the effects of the poisoning.

Staggering to the bathroom, he splashed cold water on his face and looked in the mirror. He had an odd feeling that the face looking back at him was old and weary, not his own. Shaking his head, he pushed the memories away and put on his robe. Peeking out the ICU door, he saw the nurse's station was empty and headed to the next room. It took three more rooms before he found the one holding Roy.

He didn't believe his friend was alive until he touched him, felt his pulse and the warmth of his arm. The monitors were steady, and he was breathing on his own with just a nasal cannula in place. Several IV's were running, but the room was eerily quiet.

"You're really alive." He pulled up the chair to sit next to him. "I don't think I would have believed it, without seeing you myself. I don't know, Roy. Something happened to me, to us. I can't explain it. I don't know, maybe I'm just going crazy."

"Or maybe you're just going to drive all your nurse's crazy."

He knew that voice. "Hey, Dix."

"Exactly, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I just had to see him myself. I don't know, I just woke up with a really bad feeling."

She walked over to Roy and tucked his blanket in. "I understand."

He was sure she couldn't, not really. He couldn't explain it himself either. "Doc said I'd been out for a couple of days."

"They brought you three days ago tonight."

Johnny shook his head. "Dix, CO poisoning doesn't last that long. I don't get it, why has it affected us so bad?"

"We don't know."

A monitor above Roy's head started to alarm. He looked at the numbers. "His pressure has dropped."

Dixie hit the nurse's call light. When the young nurse came around the corner, she was surprised to see he had so much company.

"How much Dopamine is he on?"

"Ten micrograms."

"Call Dr. Brackett, his pressure is down again."

"Dixie, what's going on?"

She ignored him and began adjusting his IV fluids.

"Dixie!"

"Sit down while we get him stable again, or I'm sending you back to your room."

"What is he doing here?" Kelly boomed as he came through the door. "What's going on?"

"His pressure is down; heart rate is up."

Kel shook his head. "Damn, I can't give him any more fluids, his lungs won't take it. What're our pressors at?"

"I've got him up to fifteen mics now. Laney went for the Dobutamine."

Again, the doctor shook his head.

"Doc?"

His voice was so small that it caught everyone's attention.

"Johnny, his heart is failing. He's not responding to what we're doing."

All he could do was shake his head. Something was nagging at him, something he just couldn't put his finger on. "Doc, what if it's not the CO?"

"His CO level was critical; it was higher than yours. We think his previous injuries are making it hard for his body to process the poison."

"But, what if it's not the injuries?"

Kel looked back to him. "What are you saying?"

"That day, doc, in the house, there was something else."

"What?"

Johnny shook his head. "In the man's room, we smelled something when we went into the room."

"You can't smell carbon monoxide."

"I know, but there was a strong odor in the room. And there was a plate with something burning in it, leaves and sticks. The smell was terrible."

"Johnny, what did it smell like? What were the leaves?"

He was trying so hard to remember. Closing his eyes, he tried to picture what he saw and sensed in the room. "Something wood, maybe sandalwood, and sage. There was something else though, mixed in, really strong. It was almost suffocating."

Kel turned to Dixie. "Get that information down to lab right away and get Mitchell on the phone right now."

"Could those make a difference?" Johnny asked him.

"Cheaply made incense has been found to have formaldehyde in it, and that has a suffocating smell to it."

Johnny's eyes got wide. "Formaldehyde?!"

"Dr. Brackett, Dr. Mitchell is on line four."

Kel walked over and picked up the wall phone. "David? It's Kelly. I think I have a critical formaldehyde poisoning. Yea. I agree, and I want to start it right away."

When he hung up, Johnny was waiting. Kel picked up his chart and started writing orders. When he finished, he gave Johnny a positive nod.

"What are you going to do for it?"

"Well, there's no antidote, but we can try different things to help his system filter it out. I'm going to give him activated charcoal, start a bicarb drip, and we'll start him on dialysis tonight."

"Dialysis. That sounds bad, doc."

Kelly smiled. "If the chemicals he was exposed to, mixed with the CO, then it might explain why it hit him so hard. We're just lucky it didn't affect you as severely. Still, I'm putting you on a drip tonight too. If it is Formaldehyde, then we need to get it filtered out of your system."

"Doc, I went out to the squad to get some equipment. He had more exposure than I did."

The doctor nodded. Things were finally starting to make sense. He gave Johnny's shoulder a squeeze. "Thank you, Johnny. You may have just saved his life. Now, let's get you back to your room."

He started to shake his head.

"It's going to take at least twelve to twenty-four hours for us to know if this will work. Get some rest, then you can come back."

Letting Brackett know how utterly exhausted he was wouldn't help his goals to stay in the room. He'd take a nap, then come back. Reluctantly, he nodded.

When he stepped out of the room, Mike was standing there waiting on him.

"Door police now?"

Mike just shook his head. "If you'd just do as you're told, we wouldn't have to babysit you." He let out a sigh. "What's going on with Roy?"

"He's getting worse, but they think they may know what to do now to help him."

"Good, so let's get you back to your room. Last thing Roy needs right now is to be worrying about you."

Johnny climbed into bed as Mike took up residency in the chair next to him. "Hey, is Chet okay?"

Mike looked confused but nodded. "Well, define, 'okay.'"

Johnny chuckled. "Point taken. No, I just had this weird feeling."

"He's fine. Go to sleep."

Conceding to how bad he felt, he drifted off to sleep before Mike could even get settled in.

* * *

He awoke to fingers brushing through his hair. "Jo?" Then realized that was Roy's name for her, not his. "Joanne?"

"Good afternoon, sleepyhead. How do you feel?"

He sat up some. "Better. How's Roy?"

She laughed softly at his never-ending immediate concern for his friend. "His vitals are stable, and he's weaning off the blood pressure medicine."

Johnny smiled. "That's great, right?"

"Yea, it's really great. They think he will be okay. You saved him, once again, Johnny. Once they changed the treatment, he started responding right away."

"Can I go see him?"

"Of course. We didn't expect anything less. Dixie said after your visit, they are going to move you to a regular room. So, let's get you cleaned up and presentable."

This time he felt up to walking down the hall and entered Roy's room to find him restless in the bed. "He's awake?" He asked the nurse as he approached him.

"No, he's not woken yet, but he's very agitated. I need you to return to your room while we sedate him."

"Sedation isn't going to help him wake up, let me talk to him. Roy?"

She grabbed his arm. "Sir, I need you to leave right now," she insisted.

Johnny pushed past her. "Roy, it's me, you're okay, calm down."

"I'm calling security!" The nurse barked at him.

"Call whoever you want, I'm not going anywhere."

Roy's eyes were closed, and he was moving all over the bed. Johnny leaned in close to him.

"Hey there, pally. You're okay. They got us here to Rampart and are healing us up. You're okay. Can you hear me?"

"Johnny? What's going on?" Dixie asked him, coming through the door.

"I've called security, they are on the way."

He turned to her. "Something's wrong, he's really upset."

"He's not upset, he's in a coma."

Johnny shook his head. "No, he's trying to come back, but something's wrong."

Dixie moved to the other side of the bed and took Roy's hand. "Keep talking to him, Johnny."

"It was crazy pally, this dream I had while I was sleeping." He shook his head. "I don't know, all those chemicals in the air, I think they messed with my head, and maybe the same thing is happening to you. But, listen to me, I'm right here and so are you. I need you to wake up."

Roy wasn't responding, and the nurse held the syringe in her hand with Morphine to sedate him.

"Dix, he doesn't need more sedation, let me do this."

She nodded to the nurse. "Hold the medication."

"This is highly improper," she huffed.

"Dr. Brackett will clarify my decision on the pain medication."

"Roy, listen to me. Open your eyes."

Nothing.

"Roy! Open your eyes for me!"

Then blue eyes appeared.

* * *

"Johnny?"

He laughed. "Yea, pally, it's me." Johnny gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"You're…alive?"

Johnny patted his chest. "Better believe I'm alive, partner. Welcome back."

Roy reached out for his hand. "You're alive?"

"I'm right here, Roy. It's okay now." Letting out a big sigh, he watched Roy settle into normal sleep.

"He's going to be okay," Dixie told him with a big smile. The two best friends endless concern for each other's safety always touched her. "I think he can rest now knowing you're okay too. Maybe he was having bad dreams too."

"You have no idea, Dix."

* * *

"Just like I told you, Marco, slackers," Chet said as they came into the room holding Johnny and Roy as roommates.

Marco put down a plate of cookies on Roy's tray.

"Hey, what about me?"

Roy just shrugged, and Chet laughed.

"You'll do anything to get out of station duties, won't you?"

"It worked, didn't it?"

"Too well," Hank said with a less than enthusiastic voice. "You two had us plenty worried."

Johnny looked over to Roy. He'd been pretty quiet since waking up in the ICU. "Well, just glad it's over with."

"When are you guys getting out of here," Marco asked them.

"Me tomorrow, Roy in a couple of days."

"Any word on when you can come back to work?" Chet asked. "You know, cause the Phantom is getting bored."

"Right," Johnny chuckled. "Doc hasn't said yet. But, I'm ready for Monday."

That was two days away. Hank just shook his head. "Well, let's see what the doc has to say first."

A nurse came in behind them. "Okay, visiting hours are over gentlemen. Let's let these fellas get some rest."

After goodbyes were said and the room was cleared of their friends, the two men leaned back for some television.

"You feeling okay?"

Roy looked over and nodded. Johnny was still concerned since his friend didn't quite seem like himself just yet.

"When you first woke up, you kept asking me if I was alive."

His eyes shifted back to his partner. "I did?"

"Yea, it was like you were surprised to see me alive."

Roy's voice got quieter. "I was."

Johnny sat up on the side of his bed. "Bad dreams?"

He shook his head. "More than a dream, like a memory. It was nothing, I was out of it."

"But it felt real," Johnny answered him.

"Yea, it did."

"I had a dream too, except in it you had died."

Roy raised his brow and Johnny chuckled, attempting to make light of it.

"It was pretty crazy, Jenny went to prom, then got married, and Chris became a fireman and paramedic. Then, even crazier…" He stopped himself there and let out a sigh. "It just seemed so real. I'll tell you one thing, Roy. You know I promised to take care of Joanne and the kids if anything ever happened to you, and I mean, I'll do it. And I know that I can do it now, you know, be there for them. But, partner, I know that sometimes you get frustrated and think they don't need you. Trust me, they need you, for a long time to come. So, stay alive, okay?"

For the first time since they left the house, Roy smiled. "I'll do my best. And, for the record, don't die either."

Johnny stood up and took a cookie from his tray. "Deal."

Roy watched his best friend and brother relax then settle back into bed. He was pretty sure he'd never be able to tell Johnny what had happened, what life after losing him would be like. Just the thought made his heartache. Living it once in a lifetime was bad enough.

From now on, he'd had to keep a closer eye on his brother.


End file.
